Blonde joke thread

[Paul @ Oz Tabs]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the
family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they
are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from
repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from
the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their
own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get
there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to
drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull,
and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he
will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send
her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into
the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram
to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our
ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help
her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after
paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She
realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want
you to send her the word "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to
know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup
truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your
ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big.

She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul

[Paul @ Oz Tabs]

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"

[angelvoice]

is now a good time to mention that i have blonde hair?

[Paul @ Oz Tabs]

so does my wife from time to time, so I hope you don't take offence!

[acousticandrew]

All the blonde jokes I know are those really old one liners...you know, the really corny ones that everyones heard before. Like,

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, which one hits the ground first?

The brunette because the blonde stopped to ask for directions.

Wow, they are even cheesier than I'd remembered!

[steggz]

Here's my contribution:
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," replies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"

And another for good measure:
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

[nicthewilly]

lol nice